Today I received an email petition to President Bush asking him to lower gasoline prices.


After staring drop jawed at the list of several hundred people who typed their names on this "petition," I had a long conversation with my dogie, Isis, about the absurd markup on dog food. The highest profit margin at your supermarket is on pet food. The stuff is cheap to make, and absurdly overpriced. Let’s all send an email to the Executive Branch of the United States Government and bitch about dog food prices. Women’s shoes are also overpriced. I’m sure the President can fix that too.   Perhaps more devastating to the economy is the recent increase in ticket prices at 93% of America’s movie houses.

I’m sure the President of the United States has control over movie prices, dog food prices, and gas prices. He IS a dictator, isn’t he? Oh, you say we have a democracy and a free market system? Private enterprise?  Gee, I guess if we want to complain about the price of goods or services, we might complain to the company that supplies the goods or services.  Seriously folks, our beloved President Bush describes himself as "the war president — I wake up every morning with war on my mind."

While that is reassuring for the arms industry, It doesn’t mean much for federal support of other matters — be they education, arts, science, or price controls of private industry.  NOW : If the President of the United States is ever empowered to dictate the prices of goods and services in the marketplace, please inform me immediately — and alert the world that America is America no more.

4 Responses to “BRAIN DEAD PETITION”

  1. Dogsdontpurr

    America isn’t America anymore….and hasn’t been for some time now. And private enterprise? Just try opening a business. Nada. All gov’mnt, gov’mnt.

  2. Burl Barer

    Just last night a fellow told me that the pure food and drug act put his grandfather out of business — he sold patent medicines, one primary ingredient being strychnine. “Sure, it’s a deadly poison, but Grandpa said you would have to drink two whole bottles of his tonic before you were poisoned, and by then you would throw up anyway!”

  3. Danny Barer

    Well, actually, the President does have the power to issue Executive Orders regulating prices on commodities — including oil and gas. And he did, during World War II. (See, for example, U.S. v. Allied Oil Corp., 341 U.S. 1, 71 S.Ct. 544 (1951). And according to the news, the State of Hawaii is imposing price regulations on gasoline.

  4. Burl Barer

    Oh boy, our invasion of the sovereign nation of Iraq for acts of terrorism committed by some dead guys from Saudi Arabia is now equal to World War II? You mean like the invasion of austria or poland? YIPES. Kidding aside, I do recall Kennedy threatening nationalizing the steel industry back in the 60’s, but the so-called “petition” (no signatures, no regisgtered voters, no residency, etc.) is still absurd in my opinion unless it concerns the cost of womens’ shoes and the price increase in movie theater tickets.


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