Posts Categorized: Uncategorized

THE REASON YOU ARE ASLEEP

"The reason you are asleep," the doctor explained, "is because your blood pressure is too low. Stop taking the medication we just had you spend $500 on, and you should wake up. You see, everytime you wake up it drains you of energy and causes you to fall asleep. That’s why you are sleeping all… Read more »

Am I Awake Yet?

All I do is sleep. I wake up long enough to decipher that William Powell is NOT the actor playing Philo Vance in this black and white detective movie on TCM. Maybe I fall asleep from depression?  I get the hots for the cute ingenue, then realize she’s already deceased — maybe that’s what’s doing… Read more »

Office Depot 2 Go

Office Depot, like Pizza Hut, has an online order service. You just click, pay, and await delivery.  They will deliver your order prior to five pm on the date specificed on your receipt.  I don’t know about YOUR receipt, but mine says June 2nd. Guess what? It is 6:17pm, and Office Depot has not delivered… Read more »

FAKE TAN

That is not a fake tan; my skin is simply prematurely orange. Actually, i dont think it is a fake tan at all — i used "tan accelerator" — it makes your tan FASTER or some such nonsense. The amazing thing is that it makes your tan faster even if you are locked in a… Read more »

NOT DEAD YET

My siblings and I share a remarkable trait – we’re not dead.  That’s not bragging, it is simply a statement of fact.  Being alive today is not an accomplishment for which any of we three can take credit.  My sister Janice was “supposed” to be dead more than thirty years ago from a “fatal disease.” … Read more »

Short Story Unearthed

I forgot that I wrote this back in 2002, but Donna McCooke, RGN unearthed it from the vault of Burl Barer short stories kept in the UK, and sent it back to me. Everything written by me, and stored on my other computers, is now history. Gone. Good thing most of my stuff got published…. Read more »

Financial Vampires From Hell

The wrath of God, in case you have not been keeping up with prophecy, is about to be unleashed on Capitol One (the Beast) and its unholy offspring, Alliance One (the second Beast) — the dual anti-Christ of consumer credit. In one 24 hour period they increased my amount owed by 100% despite no activity… Read more »

STEALTH and SEATTLE

I’m having fun with the screenplay of the new action film, STEALTH. It’s sort of a 2005 riff on the HAL “problem” in 2001, or the android companion/lover gone hay-wire plot. It has top gun appeal coupled with a sci-fi “technology just ain’t human” edge — I wont give away more than you’ve seen in… Read more »

Insanity in Santa Monica

Santa Monica is lovely,  I am surrounded my several the oddest assortment of strange ducks since I researched HEADLOCK by spending days at the McFeely Tavern in Walla Walla. In the room next to me is Elliot, former professional pool hustler, New Jersey Gin Rummy Champion, and real estate speculator. He speculates on what he… Read more »

A SIMPLE PLAN

The world needs a simple plan for comprehensive restructuring. I’m sure one exists, but if implementation is accompanied by a degree of complexity equal to my sister’s difficulty in changing from Cingular to Verizon Wireless, we’re dooooooomed! See Jan Curran Events (link over there ) I’ve had similar experiences with user-unfriendly “service” based organizations. In… Read more »