Today I freaked out at CostcoCostco
— actually at the Costco Eye Wear counter. According to JD Power & Associates, they have wonderful customer satisfaction. Well, I am sure as hell not that customer.
I "took a number" — #19 and no matter what I did, they ignored me right up to #23.  

I finally spoke right into the puffy face of the man behind the counter, and he looked right through me as if I were Claude Raines recently unraveled from an Ace Bandage.0e_1

Well, I freaked out! I went over to the number machine…ya know, you pull out those little paper numbers…and I just started pulling ALL of them out…handfulls of them…dozens of them!!!
Then I yelled "LOOK I HAVE NUMBERS!!!! LOOK AT ALL THE NUMBERS!! YOU CAN IGNORE THESE TOO!" Then I threw them on the counter and walked out.
I am sure COSTCO assumes I’ll be back — sort of like May Company — if you shop there, you MUST come back, right?
WRONG! I don’t need a pallet of Tampax anyway, and all I wanted to know was if they carried my brand of contact lenses.
So, phoeey on JD POWER  and COSTCO customer satisfaction. If they want to apologize, they can TAKE A NUMBER!!!


  1. DogsDontPurr

    You crack me up: “a pallet of Tampax!”
    I swear everytime I shop at Costco I lose a year off my life!!
    Good luck on finding your contacts!

  2. Mike Barer

    You should write to the customer service people at Costco. If you construct your letter well they may offer free stuff to you.

  3. Jay

    That’s hilarious! Burl’s is the only blog I read (because it is actually worth my time). Here is a reply story: A few years ago, I realized that the doors to WAL-MART were very “Star Trek” like; which only made sense, because when you go there, it is like entering a Time Warp. Shortly thereafter, I discovered the Time Warp within a Time Warp…the DELI. Or should I say the take-a-number-from-the-machine-but-we-randomly-choose-to-use-or-not-use-the-numbers deli. So last time I was there, after spending 15 minutes to get four items (yes, I do REALLY time the deli every time I go), the woman asked “Do you want anything else?” I thought (but did not say) “How about the last 15 minutes of my life back?”

  4. dave zarkin

    A day of rage in the wonderful world of retail. Sorry to hear that, but I had a nasty dustup myself this weekend at a local grocery store. Standing in the checkout line behind an African American mom with a toddler in the grocery cart, I watched as the little monster reached for the bar on the conveyor belt after having kicked me in the stomach. I promptly picked up the bar and slammed it down on the conveyor belt and the woman turned on me like I had kicked her in the groin. “How dare you disrespect this child” was one of her hysterical pleas. I heard a tirade about my age and I would live longer if I did whatever. I replied, “I think you made your point and now you have crossed the line.” Meanwhile my blood pressure soared and I thought this isn’t worth the hassle and I need to cut my losses. Shopping is worse than work and I would avoid it if I could. My son explained that African American women have respect issues and it is difficult to forsee what will prompt an incident somewhat related to these issues.

  5. Jan Curran

    As much as I hate Walmart, they have the best prices on contact lens. The downside is I have often waited as long as 45 minutes while the girl behind the counter looks for my file. They are total idiots, but at $14 a box, I put up with it.
    You going to Seattle for Mom’s 94th?
    I still have problem talking ( is that a relief?) and coughing so send me email rather than phoning.
    Hope to be in better shape very soon.
    Love you,
    Your beloved sister


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