Dog Whisperer II

THE DOG WHISPERER is a hit TV show on the National Geographic cable network. Millions are addicted to this reality show, and for good reason. Cesar (the dog whisperer) is to dogs and owners what Dr. Phil is to human communication breakdown, failed marriages, and other psychological/social ills. 


I have a dog named Isis. My pal Judi Faye has a dog named Tina. Judi and I get together on the weekends and see all the movies at the Directors Guild, the Writers Guild, and the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. We do this because (a) we both like movies, and we get in free because she is a member of all these organizations. Yes, she is THAT Judi Faye — you know, the singer, actress, and well known chanteuse dowager. Judi is the only dancer i know with gout. You better not step on HER foot when dancing unless you want to see a middle aged Jewess hop around on one foot screaming obscenities in Yiddish. Then again, the visuals may be worth the relationship fallout.

Judi has a dog named Tina. Tina doesn’t dance or swear in Yiddish. My dog met her dog and my dog attacked her dog.  This is not good.

Sooooo….we called the Dog Whisperer.  Sort of like WIRE PALLIDIN. HAVE LEASH WILL TRAVEL.   He shows up armed with his wife, kid, crew, and two HD video cameras.  Within ten minutes he has the two dogs walking together on the same leash!  Sadly, he took that leash with him when he left.  The dogs were soon plotting various nefarious canine crimes against each other.  It was like SPY VS SPY without the bombs.  Judi’s reaction to the dogs sniffing each other was "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! YIPES!!!!!! THEY WILL ALL BE DEAD BY DAWN!!!"  Her demeanor assured panic for blocks. People who don’t even own dogs were buying muzzles — for Judi.

I sent Judi off to do something productive…you know, go to the thrift store and buy some used videos marked "FOR YOUR EMMY CONSIDERATION — NOT FOR SALE" while I did my impersonation of the Dog Whisperer.  By the time she returned clutching a TNT original, the fireworks were over. Tina and Isis were walking in circles sniffing each other’s butts with joyous alacrity.  They played together all day in the yard, and only bit each other twice. They had great fun, and all is well in dogland.

You can see Cesar unleash his talents on the two dogs February 2nd on the National Geographic network 8pm PST. For exact schedule info see the Dog Whisperer page on National Geographic’s website.

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