That is not a fake tan; my skin is simply prematurely orange.

Actually, i dont think it is a fake tan at all — i used "tan accelerator" — it makes your tan FASTER or some such nonsense. The amazing thing is that it makes your tan faster even if you are locked in a basement with a bag over your head!  Aint technology a marvel?

Poor Mata Hari was executed this morning on Turner Classic Movies. She was killed for having sex with men with big shoulder pads while she, recalcitrant, had big fake eyebrows.  I kept trying to imagine Greta Garbo "going for the gusto," but I got the impression she may be more satisfied alone.

I am working on a novelization of the new movie STEALTH. I can’t wait to see it.  I bet it is one hot action flick! In the screenplay, the action is fantastic, and i bet the visuals are stunning.  In addition to reading the screenplay, I have done all the research on the REAL uav/ucav  Stealth planes currently in development and deployment and it is perhaps more scary than the film! Sheesh — don’t be surprised if the next sound you hear from a navy jet fighter isnt the sound of breaking the sound barrier, but the plane singing "daisy."

The number one problem with email and IMs is sending the wrong message to the wrong person — i finally did that yesterday!!!  OOOOPS….i thought i was speaking to a nice jewish ultra-liberal who worked on the Kerry campaign, when i was actually speaking to a Republican shiksa positioned just to the right of Atilla the Hun!! It is difficult to recover from such a mistake, no matter how fast you type. "Noooo — i didnt say Republicans, i said rude pelicans!"

3 Responses to “FAKE TAN”

  1. Anea

    I had a coworker try to send me a complaint about another person in the office over IM and ended up sending it to them instead. Very embarrassing. At least (I assume) you don’t konw this rude pelican in real life 😉

  2. Anea

    I can also attest to my father’s tan-ness. He gets very tanned very quickly, of course, he is also the only person I know who uses no sort of sunblock only tanning oil when he is oging to be out in the sun. 🙂


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