Geisha think you’re swell, darlin’

Ok rented that lush, exhilerating, award winning  Memoirs of a Geisha — a feast for the eyes, and slap in the  face to the mind. How’s that for mixing metaphors?Geisha

This movie deserves praise for actually making a silk kimono out of a sno-cone. It looks wonderful — visually. But the plot? SHEEEEEEEESH! The screenplay was adapted from a best selling book. Not one of mine, of course. Not one of Lee’s or Tod’s or Karen & Linda’s or even Jan Curran’s.
If a soap opera is a three hankie movie, this artsy stunner is a one hanky film..and if you’ve seen the movie you’ll get the joke. The plot, absurd as it is, goes like this:
Man gives a sno-cone and a hanky to a little girl. At that moment she decides to become a geisha so she can grow up and be his mistress. Of course, despite dreadful obstacles — such as being the lamest piece of ass in Japan – she emerges victorious. Finally, at the only climax in the film (the end), she tells Mr Hanky Sno-Cone that she has always wanted him, loved him, etc.  And he says that HE HAS ALWAYS WANTED HER TOO!! Damn creepy if ya ask me. Never take candy from a stranger — and that includes sno-cones. If this film hadn’t been made with such loving care and dazzling artistry, it would have been laughed off the screen. 
Heck, even Jerry Lewis’ The Geisha Boy Geisha_boy
had more substance in plot and character.
Final analysis: All Hanky, No Panky.

2 Responses to “Geisha think you’re swell, darlin’”

  1. dave zarkin

    I was supposed to meet friends to see this and when I learned it was 2.5 hrs long I bailed out. Will wait for sequel with Godzilla, Rodan.


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