GREEN RIVER KILLER(S)

There was more than one "Green River Killer" — at least three killers with different methods and behavior all dumped their bodies in the same general area. One of the killers was most likely a fellow who was never captured, but now deceased. He had a full collection of police uniforms and automobiles that looked exactly like real cop cars. It is believed that he used this ruse to pick up his victims. This was discovered, along with other incriminating evidence, after he died. The best known and the only "convicted" Green River killer was Mr. Ridgeway. They knew about him for years, but had messed up the original evidence. DNA was his final undoing. Another alleged Green River Killer was Paul St. Pierre and perhaps his friend, Andrew Webb. St. Pierre died from supposedly shoving feces filled toilet paper down his own throat while under guard in prison, and Webb is still in Walla Walla (the prison) serving a sentence for the murder of Damon Wells.  I wrote a book about St. Pierre and Webb entitled HEAD SHOT. Buy several copies today!

Webb’s nephew, Travis Webb, appears as himself in both HEAD SHOT and HEADLOCK — no relationship between the two books. HEAD SHOT is non-fiction true crime; HEADLOCK is a private eye mystery set in Walla Walla starring an author protagonist who is remarkably just like me only younger, better looking, and stronger — but no smarter. Oh, and his books sell more copies than HEADLOCK has sold.
HEADLOCK is one of my favorite  books — probably because it is written in first person (I’m the person)present tense, takes place in Walla Walla, and even though it is fiction, it incorporates a great deal of true Walla Walla reality. It was the #1 best selling book in Walla Walla for over a year, outselling Harry Potter — which means it sold at least 10 copies. It suffered from being a POD (print on demand) title from a small publishing house, DEADLY ALIBI PRESS. I do get royalties on it — so far, almost enough to cover the cost of the Squirts I drank while hanging out at the McFeely Tavern soaking up atmosphere and authentic dialog. A Hollywood production company that produces Made for TV Movies asked about buying the TV rights – –  they were interested in making a TV movie pilot for a proposed series based on the book, but (so far) nothing has come of it. <sigh>  It was fun speculating on who would play "me" — perhaps the actor who played Balki in "Perfect Strangers," or maybe Joey Heatherton…nope, she would play my sister, Janice. I would probably wind up being played by Bob Sagget or Angela Basset. Any suggestions? (Yes, Lee, Pierce Brosnan plays you, Jon Lovitz plays Tod, and Zamphire plays the Pan Flute.)

9 Responses to “GREEN RIVER KILLER(S)”

  1. Danny Barer

    I would think either Liam Neeson or Alec Baldwin (at current age) to play you — if only they were more Semetic.
    Headlock was a fun book, but it made me feel frustrated that I knew so little about my home town — despite spending the first 18 years of my life (plus assorted summers afterward) there.

    Reply
  2. Jan Curran

    Joey Heatherton! You mean how she used to look when she was sexy and peppy and guys had fantasies over her just like how I am now? I was afraid you would say Ma Kettle, or Marjorie Mann should play your sister — whew.
    How do you feel?

    Reply
  3. burl barer

    HA HA! You always wanted JOEY to play you, didn’t you? How do I feel? I feel like I should have health insurance! My Rx costs per month are more than health insurance would be. Waiting till i get paid for STEALTH then i can sign up, or at least attempt getting it. At least I can get my Rx filled.

    Reply
  4. David Zarkin

    We had a governor im Minnesota who was pretty decent with a headlock. Believe he is collecting a check from NBC without doing anyting. Can’t beat that. As for Green River, it was a drug store soda that I once had in Walla Walla.

    Reply
  5. Mike Barer

    Mathew Broderick could do a Burl Barer or maybe Barry Manilow. Lee could be played by Scott Baio. Robert De Niro could play Stan. Charlie Sheen will apear in a cameo as Charlie Sheen.

    Reply
  6. DonnaMatrix

    I think maybe Mr Burns from The Simpsons should play Burl. He has the right nose

    Reply

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