They had two flavors: chocolate and caramel. For your money, you received a big blob of vanilla ice cream covered with TWO PUMPS of syrup.
I paid my money, and asked for ONE PUMP of chocolate and ONE PUMP of caramel.
"I can't do that," said the waitress, trembling at the very thought. "Yes you can, it's simple." I demonstrated the divine art of pumping the lever. "No, I mean I am forbidden by corporate policy. I am not allowed to MIX SAUCES." I looked around furtively. "Shhhhhh We are alone I am the only customer. I'll never tell. I'm sure they don’t do a sauce audit measured by pumps — no one will know." She still refused. "OK, I'll pay you twenty-five cents extra for one pump of caramel on a chocolate sundae, or one pump of chocolate on a caramel sundae."
Beads of perspiration broke out on her already broken out forehead. "Okay, but I'm not putting the sauce directly on the ice cream — I'll put it on a little piece of plastic and YOU put it on. I’m not taking responsibility for the sauce being on the ice cream" Damn! This woman seems obsessed with the paranoid delusion that Ronald is not clowning around when it comes to his recent edict: Mix the Sauces; File for Unemployment.