It suddenly occured to me in a blaze of brilliance that if I don’t write a book in English this year, my glorious literary career will come to a screeching halt. Hence, I sent off a proposal actually written a year ago that I never felt was “quite right.” Guess what? Yes, my previous publisher wants another book from me, and thinks this true story is appropriately disgusting:

Mom promises her 13 year old daughter a new bike if the kid and her little pals willl murder mom’s boss. Who can resist an offer such as that? The mom, Barbara Opel, had a way with kids — and a way with homicide.

“After the murder,” said Sgt. Bryant, “Barbara Opel sent her 11-year-old son upstairs to get sheets to wrap around the body, then made the boy and her 7-year-old daughter clean up the bloody mess.” Opel and all the kids carted Heimann’s body in a wheelbarrow to a car, then used mops, sponges, and bleach to clean up the blood and brains. “ They poured acid on Heimann’s face to conceal his identity, then dumped the body beside a road outside of town on the nearby Tulalip Indian Reservation.

If we cut the deal next week, I will officially be a working author once again.

One Response to “MURDER FOR A NEW BIKE”

  1. Jay Brandes

    When the kids are old enough for a car, will they have to commit genocide to get one? Maybe just “spree” will get them a Harley.


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