My siblings and I share a remarkable trait – we’re not dead. That’s not bragging, it is simply a statement of fact. Being alive today is not an accomplishment for which any of we three can take credit. My sister Janice was “supposed” to be dead more than thirty years ago from a “fatal disease.” Is there such a thing as dying from a “non-fatal disease?”
My brother Stan has been living on borrowed time at least since High School. He missed the Senior Prom due to blood poisoning. A couple years later at ZBT Fraternity, he was having his morning shave when one of his frat brothers asked him about the “red line” moving towards his neck – a red line not visible to Stan because Stan is color-blind. Had Stan finished shaving five minutes earlier, and slipped into a long sleeved shirt, nothing would have prevented Lionel Barrymore from completely taking over Bedford Falls.
I had a heart attack on Monday the 23rd of May, and I didn’t die. The experience did however, make me nervous and hungry. After a Big Mac and a Camel, I felt much better.
The Dr says I shouldn’t smoke as it causes some sort of constriction of the blood flow. In Supreme irony, Flow doesn’t know that the boy she loves is a Romeo
The real mystery is this: My son and I were on the shuttle bus to the airport when I had the heart attack. The attack transpired because of blockage in my arteries. The blood could not flow anywhere. There was animal fat where blood was supposed to be.
On the Thursday following the heart attack, I met with a family doctor who asked if the hospital had given me a blood test to see if my heart attack was the result of a cocaine overdose! IS THERE A HISTORY OF PEOPLE BEING GIVEN OVERDOSES OF TOPICAL ANESTHETICS AND/OR STIMULANTS WITHOUT THEIR KNOWLEDGE WHILE RIDING THE SHUTTLE BUS TO THE AIRPORT? IS THIS AN ONGOING INVESTIGATION OF A COMMON PROBLEM?
If so, the airport shuttle should post warning notices: DANGER: FORCED CONSUMPTION OF VASAL CONSTRICTORS TAKES PLACE ON THIS BUS AGAINST YOUR WILL OR KNOWLEDGE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.