STEAKS ON A PLANE

AirplaneAccording to a recent risk analysis. the MOST PROBABLE AND REALISTIC
THREAT to airline passengers, the most statistically probable scenario
of someone doing something really bad and threatening on an
airplane
….is
(see if you can guess)

1. Fundamentalist Religious/Political
Terrorists armed with god-knows-what that they smuggled on somehow
2. Right Wing anti-government "patriots" armed with god-knows-what that they smuggled on somehow
3. Some nut-case psychopath wanting to make a name for himself armed with god-knows-what that he/she smuggled on
somehow
4. An underpaid and pissed off food service worker armed with a pot of hot coffee.

And
the answer is #4

This is the MOST LIKELY THREAT….the rest pale
in comparison….because food service workers20070417airplanemeal at the airport are paid
horribly, and since airlines have stopped serving meals a lot of them
have lost their jobs or have had their hours cut drastically and they
are really going over the edge..forget going "postal," the new phrase
is liable to be "going craft services!"
So, while travelers get
searched harassed and, if you have a name such as Burl Barer, are dark
and swarthy, you can count almost 100% on a full body search, including
cavities not described in any book on dentistry, the real  BIG DANGER
is the poor bastard who loads the soda-pop on the airplane who has to
pee in a cup more often that the pilot, and has an acknowledged
high-risk of life-time hearing loss when on the tarmac.  One day he’s
haulin’ Canada Dry onto the plane, the next he’s whackin somebody in
the head with a pot of Gourmet Arabica and scalding some flight
attendant’s private parts in a non-politically motivated act of
misdirected rage and vengeance. Burl Barer sez:Time to round up those crafty craft people NOW
before they attack or ask for increased wages.

2 Responses to “STEAKS ON A PLANE”

  1. Rabbi Jacobs

    Nice article.
    Could you possibly elaborate on one point I think many of your readers may be wondering: Do these dangerous, ticked off, and potentially fatal flight attendants serving food include those who serve those disgusting kosher omelets, with the little slap of tomato sauce?
    Personally, I have a number of acquaintances who would love to explain, through the Marquis of Queensbury rules, that that egg is no excuse for a meal at a 500 buck domestic flight ticket level.

    Reply
  2. burl barer

    Nope, Rabbi…this unorthodox behavior, obviously in need of reform — a fact even recognized by conservatives and the scenario reconstructed numerous times — is potential behavior of the folks who put the food on the plane, not those who serve it. On domestic flights in USA we don’t get meals much anymore. We’re lucky if we get a bag of almonds. We used to get six packs of WINSTON cigarettes, but those days are gone.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

  • (will not be published)

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>