THE F WORD

Several years ago almost everyone in Alaska had their phones tapped in an unprecedented investigation into a mail bombing in Chugiac. I was contracted to write a book about the case and the investigation. In the final outcome, my publisher went to prison for embezzlement, and the book was never published. While writing the book, The United States Postal Service Investigators provided me with the transcripts from the phone conversations of those who were eventually convicted of murder. The "F Word" was used with absurd frequency…so much so, that I felt that I would have to re-write the actual dialog to make it more believeable…no one "really" talks like that! In real life, those with limited vocabulary skills utilize the F word as an adjunct to everything including zip codes and addresses!! I’m not known for utilization of foul language in my personal speech, and have found myself in situations where my lack of profanity was a hindrence to communication — after all, I interact with a lot of low-lifes and criminals who feel put off by a conspicuous papaucity of the profane. I had to practice reducing my verbosity, streamlining my descriptions etc to fit the minimalist f-packed discourse of my companions. So, sometimes ya just gotta say "f-it, ffs!"

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