Who Loves Me? Dating Site Reveals My Lack of Appeal

Okay I've been on a dating site, and it's amazing who contacts me.  I recently received a msg from a woman seeking an activity partner. She plays golf and loves country/western music.  I don't play golf, and can't stand country music. My response:

I am so glad you like golf.  While my only sports are tonsil hockey and mattress polo, I'm sure that if you gave me a wood and offered me a shot down your fairway, I would play it as it lays with either a 7 or 8 iron, depending on weather conditions. 

I am also pleased that you have an affinity for country music. It is only right that folks living in abandoned vehicles have a shared interest other than the corruption of grammar and mating with siblings. 

(If most Americans shared my feelings toward country music, the CMA Awards would be shot on VHS in Mel Tellis' garage,aired only on cable access, and still be defeated in TV ratings by "To Be Announced" and "Paid Programming.")

You really seem like my kind of woman, one who knows how to please her man, and is not ashamed to share that knowledge with all on her bowling team, regardless of gender or physical defect.

I doubt I'll hear back from her.  Meanwhile, there is one woman who is crazy about me: Yep, the little bitch on the left.  Oh, there is one more of an ethnic nature!Matzah Paris hilton

One Response to “Who Loves Me? Dating Site Reveals My Lack of Appeal”

  1. David Zarkin

    Wonderful comment in my blog on Tennessee Williams directing Wild Women of Wongo. In that genre, a famous splatter director, Hershel Gordon Brown, did some awful boring dreck in the 60s and had you heard of him?


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